Kiss!

At nights when he would fall asleep, I would sit on the couch and look out the window. Watching the cars go by, it felt like life was moving forward, and mine seemed on pause. People were going on with their life. Sadly, in addition to what nightmare I was living. There were additional actions taken that I wish I could say were to the benefit of my children but were causing more hurt and stress.

I was dealing with stress, worry, fear, anger, frustration, and trauma. This night I started crying and had a panic attack. I began to hear my son's voice. He kept saying, "help me, mommy, help!" Over and over. I could not make it stop. Even though I was looking at him and he was sleeping peacefully. I just kept hearing his voice. I walked out of the room in tears and called my social worker. That day I knew I needed help—more than I was asking. I took some sleep medication that night, so my mind could rest.

The following day the nurse came in and said. "You are cleared to leave the room. So he will start to go to the gym for his therapy." He will need some clothes! I thought to myself. We had been in quarantine. So I went and purchased my son new clothes and new shoes. He had grown so much in the month that we had been in the hospital.

When I got back, I showed him what I had bought him. I started to kiss him. As I was kissing him, I would describe what I was doing with my mouth and why I was doing it. The doctors said that he had to learn everything all over again. We had to help his brain remember what it already knew.

I said, "can you kiss mommy?" I was not ready for what would happen next. As I leaned my cheek to his mouth, my son puckered up his lips and kissed my cheek! I was ecstatic; my son understood what I asked him to do. He was regaining consciousness.

That was all I needed to bring my focus to what was most important, my son’s recovery and my family's healing. He gave me the strength I felt I had lost to face what we were living and everything else coming our way. He saved me with a kiss!