As days passed, they decreased sedatives to allow him to wake up. To open his eyes. I had not seen those beautiful brown eyes open in a long time. I couldn't wait to see him. After a few days had passed and he wasn't opening his eyes, I was distraught and scared. The nurses kept telling me that it was ok. That kids take their time that he would open his eyes.
One day, my sister and I were coming into the room and settling for another night at the hospital. I turned to look at him, and his eyes were open. I ran to him. I told him how happy he made me by opening his eyes. Due to nerve damage, he could only open his right eye. His left eye was closed.
He reminded me of when he was a baby. You know, when babies are born, and they are looking around at everything but also at nothing. You don't know if they are aware you are there or not. That's how he looked. He had a blank stare. I must admit. It was tough to see him that way because fear crawled back in. Fear of what if this was it? Who would take care of him if something happened to me?
I learned early on in this journey that faith is an excellent way to manage fear. It won't make the fear disappear but will bring you back from the darkest moments and thoughts. So I reminded myself that when I first arrived on January 12th, we did not know if this might happen. We didn’t know if might open his eyes or even live. But there he was, fighting to be here with us. I had to keep that faith that helped me get to this point! So I took a deep breath and just enjoyed him, enjoyed the moment, enjoyed the present!
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