When I was 21, I had my first baby. I was young and didn't know much of anything. All I knew was that I loved that baby with all my heart. I wanted to be the best version of myself for her. Months go by, and I feel detached from my baby, overwhelmed, irritable, sad, and exhausted. I didn't know what was going on. I knew I loved my baby. How can I not feel attached to her?!
When I visit the doctor, he tells me I have postpartum depression.
I am going to be very honest. I didn't know what that was. We didn't talk about mental health growing up. It was the first time I was diagnosed with postpartum depression.
Seven years later, I welcomed my baby boy, K. I knew having had postpartum depression before meant I was at higher risk of having it again. I was vigilant. We were vigilant. Mike started to notice my behavior changing. I was being very emotional. I remember when I realized I was going through it again. I got messages congratulating us but not only that. They were happy because my husband had had a boy. K was supposed to take on the family business. I had this overwhelming feeling of anxiety. He was days born, and people already had his life purpose defined. I know that all the wishes were from the heart and did not mean any harm. But to see my baby in my arms and see how vulnerable and fragile he was but already carrying so much responsibility was overwhelming.
Mike noticed I started to avoid people not wanting to go out. So he looked for help. I got help!
Five years later, I had my baby T. Again; I was vigilant. Being pregnant during COVID time was tough. We couldn't see family and friends. Our business was at risk like many others. It was tough. I for sure thought I would have postpartum depression, so I was proactive and looked for a therapist and options for medication if needed. I did not have postpartum depression this time around. I was glad, however, that I was proactive about my mental health and had professionals ready to support me.
Why am I sharing this with you? Because Mental health is a massive part of my life. Due to the events in January, I have depression, anxiety, and PTSD. I take medications for it, which has helped me be a better version of myself for my kids.
Mental health is the reason I have this blog. Every day I tell myself, why didn't I learn more? Why didn't I see the signs? Maybe if I had seen them
, this wouldn't have happened. The reality is that we are only one story.
This is our story!
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